Dead End Job

Thanks to the Police for the title of this post...

A couple of weeks ago (as written in a previous blog) I had undergone gallbladder surgery. On my post-op visit, the doctor advised that I take another week off from work to fully recover from the surgery- which I was happy about. I had started feeling better, but was really in no shape to return to work. As the second week was winding down, my anxiety started...

I have been with Verizon Wireless for over 8 years. I have had virtually the same job for about 7 years, with about a year of other duties sprinkled in along that time. Initially, I fell for the grandeur of "opportunities to be promoted from within" lines as if they were true statements- why would the company lie about such things? However, this has not been the case as time progressed. I have applied for over 50 positions within the company and have succeeded in attaining 4 of them. Not a successful ratio. I have even been offered a job by a manager, accepted the position, only to be told that I would NOT be getting the position a week later! The stories about my struggles for progression would amaze you. I thought that I finally caught a break 7 months ago when I received an interim position with an auditing team. Unfortunately, 7 months came and went as a permanent position was not being filled at this time. Therefore, I was returning back to my previous job. That is, before the gall bladder surgery.

I have never been off two full weeks at once in the 8 years I had been at Verizon Wireless. Sure, I have had 9 or 10 days off before including weekends, but never as many as the 17 days off I had this past month. One would think that after that much time off, one would be rejuvenated and feel refreshed and be back at work without any dread. One would be wrong.  Yesterday, I entered my building, sat along side my co-workers and walked out with the same feeling of dread I had nearly 8 months prior when I was performing my old job description.

The best way I can explain it to people is that it's like going to school every morning only to see that bully at the door waiting for you. You know he is there for one thing: to punch you in the stomach and take your lunch money and push you down to the ground. No matter how much you try to put up a fight, the results are the same: a deflated ego, a bruise in your ribs and that queasy feeling that even though you made it to Friday, Monday is right around the corner and it starts all over again.

I don't really know where I am going with this post, but I am sure there are others out there that will read this and can empathize with exactly the same feelings that I feel about my job. Longing for a fulfilling career is something that many of us deal with, so I am not asking for pity. All I know is that I cannot, nor will not go on like this. Something has to change. I am going to be looking for that something. And when I find it, I am going to hold onto it like I am gasping for air. Either within or (more than likely) without Verizon Wireless.

It's The End of the World As We Know It

REM, of course...

Tonight is a tough night for me. Sadly, the New York Yankees finished their season during the ALDS, which is a series or two short from the expectations of Yankees fans. (Sidebar: luckily, I taped Game 4 (a Yankee victory) for when Jacob is demanding that we watch baseball. He loves watching baseball so much, I can't break his heart to tell him that baseball season ever ends.) What happened tonight was a microcosm of the entire ALDS: the heart of the order simply did not produce much fruit.

Alex Rodriguez is supposed to protect Robinson Cano, but he put up numbers that were an atrocity- even for A-Rod. He went 0-4, with 3 Ks tonight, leaving him with a paltry .111 AVG (2 for 18), 3 RBI with 6 Ks for the series. Hardly the number you expect for a man with the highest salary in baseball. The numbers don't do his performance any justice. He did not look comfortable at the plate for most of the series. He simply looked confused did not have any confidence swinging the bat. There were instances where Tigers pitching made him look downright foolish. Mark Teixiera and Nick Swisher didn't offer much more for the Yankees either. Teixiera .166/1 RBI/5 Ks and Swisher .211/2 RBI and 5 Ks for the series. These 3 men left enough men on base to make the Weather Girls blush (queue the song, "It's Raining Men?") The heart of a lineup cannot perform like this if you expect to progress in the postseason.

CC Sabathia did not pitch well either. His Game 3 performance was less than spectacular, and he also gave up a run in relief tonight. Considering that he is not used to coming out of the bullpen, he kept it close enough for one of the Yankee hitters to pick him up tonight.

Robinson Cano and Curtis Granderson both had a stellar postseason. Cano was amazing at the plate hitting .318 with 9 RBI while looking smooth as silk in picking it in the field defensively. Granderson produced offensively as well, but his defense proved to be the best of any player in the series. He stretched out to make an inning-ending catch that saved 3 runs in the 1st inning of Game 4 and another amazing diving catch to end the a later inning and saved 2 more runs. Without his leather in Game 4, A-Rod would not have had a chance to kill the Yankees in Game 5.

The brightest spot for the Yankees in this series must be the emergence of Brett Gardner. Gardner (in the 9th spot) had a .428 AVG and accounted for 8 runs (5 RBI and 3 runs scored). When he is on first, it isn't long until he ends up stealing 2nd and has his eyes on 3rd. Gardner is looking like the player I wanted him to become- a speed demon that gives the Yankees an opportunity to manufacture runs instead of simply relying on the long ball.

Finally, I do have an issue with Joe Girardi's decision-making tonight: not one pinch-hitter the entire evening. Russell Martin did not have great ABs tonight, why not throw Jesus Montero a bone? Girardi also had Andruw Jones on the pine who could have taken swings for Swisher. As poorly as A-Rod was swinging the bat tonight (much less the entire series), was there an opportunity to pinch-hit for him? ThereI realize that the NY sports writers would have likely had a field day with it, but I would have like to seen Eric Chavez with an opportunity at the plate. What's the worst that could happen: Chavez to make the final out of the season instead of A-Rod? That would have made it easier for A-Rod over the next few days, Instead, the season ended the same way it did last year: with A-Rod striking out swinging and a bunch of question marks heading into the offseason.

Yankees GM Brian Cashman has a lot of work to do this offseason. The Yankees will likely lose Jorge Posada, and they will be looking for starting pitching once again. Who really thinks that Bartolo Colon and Freddy Garcia will have a repeat of this season's success nest year? Finally, CC Sabathia is likely to opt-out of his contract with the Yankees next year. That will be a huge blow to the AL East Champion Yankees' chances of repeating and progressing further in the postseason if he is not re-signed. It figures to be a tumultuous time in New York over the next few days as the ire of fans turns to the anticipation of the Hot Stove of MLB Free Agency.

Somebody Get Me A Doctor

"Diamond" Dave and the boys from Van Halen are lending a hand for my title today...

FIrst and foremost, thank you for all the continued prayers and love through this ordeal. I am eternally grateful for your support. Now, on to the blog!

What a day. Of course, my day started late last night- around 8pm in fact. After Jen made a fantastic roast beef and mashed potato dinner, my mind kept echoing the words of the nurse I saw yesterday: "Nothing to eat or drink after midnight." Therefore I started making plans for what I called, "second dinner." I thought of heating up the leftovers of stuffed shells that Jen had made the night before, until I mentioned I would like some no-bake cookies before I went into surgery. After all, it has been over 6 weeks since my last taste of chocolate and I could count the number of desserts I had eaten during that time on a chicken's foot. Once refrigerated, I consumed about 5 of them immediately. I figured that it wouldn't hurt to cheat on my diet a little during this downtime from running. 

I went upstairs to watch TV around 9:30 and ended up falling asleep on my fantastic leather couch that Jen abhors. When I woke up, there was a tense horror at the pit of my stomach. Looking at my phone, I had done the unthinkable: I slept right through second dinner and into the morning of my surgery- my fast had started in my sleep. With a sense of dread, I walked downstairs and climbed into bed. 

This morning started off great: I got the rare chance to get Jacob out of bed and hold him while he drank his morning milk. Before I knew it, we were in the car to head to the surgicenter. Thankfully, I was not hungry, so missing second dinner was not as big as I had thought. Since I had a second gallbladder attack Sunday afternoon, I was elated to get this foul thing called a gallbladder out once and for all. For as calm and relaxed as I was, Jen was concerned and worried. I love that about her- she worries for me because I don't have sense to do it myself. I have never been good at worrying about myself, so it nice to have someone who loves me enough to do so.

Dr. Beaird did an amazing job with my gallbladder removal. The surgery only lasted for about an hour and Jen was allowed back into the recovery room about 45 minutes afterward. I felt like a groggy mess from the anesthesia when I saw her. I could tell she was worried, but felt pretty good by the time I was ready to leave. Once I got home, I took a quick nap and and was able to finally see my little boy again. Of course, he was excited to see me, but I had to do a lot of hand-checking to keep him off of my abdomen. 

Overall, I feel pretty freaking good considering I had a small procedure today. [As I wrote that sentence, my mind went immediately to Billy Crystal in "City Slickers" he explains to the classroom of children about what to expect in getting old: "Your 50's, you'll have a minor surgery. You'll call it a procedure, (shrugging shoulders) but it's a surgery."] Well, I am not in my 50's, but I did it a procedure. Later this week, I will be evaluate when I will return to work. The doctor says no running for 2 weeks. Between me and you, that is the most painful thing about the past few days.

Thanks for reading. Much love to all-

Urgent

Well, this Foreigner song puts this post into perspective...

From my previous blog, you are aware that I have set a goal to run through the HealthRally website. The goal was to run 14 times for more than 40 miles. Currently I am at 11 runs and over 34 miles, with a 6 mile run to be completed today. I thought to myself that I was going to crush that goal of 40 miles and easily complete my 14 runs by September 30. But events transpired on Monday this past week which changed the course of future events.

I started getting a very uneasy feeling in my upper abdomen late Sunday evening. Of course, I took some Pepto-Bismol and went to bed thinking I just had an upset stomach. I woke up for my Monday morning run still having this bizarre feeling. Nevertheless, I completed my 5K (3.1mi) run and went to work. Strangely, the feeling was a little worse, so I purchased some other anti-acid liquid that I thought would work better. Unfortunately, I did not get any relief. Tuesday morning, a 4mi run, work, and home with the family, the uneasiness in my stomach with me for the day. I picked up a bottle of Prilosec to help with the pain. Wednesday: a stationary bike ride and a gym workout, work, play drums for church worship, and bed. Again, pain came along for the ride. Thursday: another 5K run, work and home with the kids and hung out with the pain all day. Friday: a full rested morning. On my way to get a water refill at work and I felt a pain along the right side that felt like I threw my back out. It took my breath and almost sent me to the floor. It was such a piercing and intense pain, all I could do was laugh about it. I sat in a chair and tried to push the back of my chair into the location of the pain in order to allow the muscle to release and did not get any relief. After consideration, Jen and I went to the ER to figure out what was happening. The doctor confirmed Jen's diagnosis all along: gallbladder. I was sent home with the gallbladder surgery set to take place on Monday morning.

After discussing the diagnosis with the doctor, he confirmed my thoughts about the cause for the gallbladder issue. In August, I drastically changed my diet. I no longer eat ANY fast food or drink anything but water or milk. I stopped eating anything that is fried, fatty, or any sweets. Whenever I need to eat something on the go, I find a Subway or Jersey Mike's and eat a turkey sandwich. After about 8 weeks on an extreme diet/lifestyle change, my body no longer knew what to do with all of the fluids that are located within the gallbladder. Therefore, it began to cause a problem for the bile duct into my stomach.

All of this to say that I am not happy about this right now. I have been running faithfully 4 times per week for 3 weeks and worked my way up to 15 miles per week. Of course after the surgery, I will have to take some time off my training regimen. At my age, my main concern is my ability to bounce back without having to completely restart my program. I guess only time will tell. I hope to be back out on the road by Saturday next week. More to follow in the coming days. I am hoping to write another blog post-surgery to review the day's events. Until then...

Run, Run, Run - Week 1

A song by The Who will describe this and future new blog posts...

I have really slacked off in writing. Although there are many excuses for not doing so, there is no excuse for my hiatus. With as many great things that has happened in our family over the past several months, I simply never felt inspired to write. For anyone who reads (or cares to read) this blog, I commit to writing more often. Even if there are shorter ones here and there, at least I am putting something out for consumption. Here goes:

For the first few months of 2011, I was in great shape. I was down to around 200lbs and was feeling my leanest in several years. Working out before work gave me the ability to drop and keep the weight off. In May, I started another position in my company, which replaced my gym mornings for overtime. Of course that also lead to not eating so well and the body started hoarding the sugar, fat, and empty carbs. I ended up right back at 225lbs. I had to do something. First, I decided to give up all sodas an only drink water. I also gave up sweets once again. After a few runs, I decided on a quest: to run a half-marathon by Spring 2012.

I started running again in late August- a couple of miles on the so-called "dreadmill" at the gym, a short body workout starting at 6am. It was about a week before finally taking my treks outside in the elements. I knew running on treadmills wasn't the same as outdoors, but I was not expecting such a pounding on my legs. They hurt for 3 days after the first run on pavement.

Starting September 2, I set a goal of running 14 times by September 30 (4 weeks). So far, I have 4 runs under my belt- all outdoors. Three runs in my neighborhood, and one run at the Barfield Park trail. That trail is a monster. The initial hill is at least a 12 degree incline. Overall the run was 2.75mi- not bad for the 3rd run. Tomorrow will be my 5th and I'm planning for a morning on the Greenway in Murfreesboro.

I have also set up a challenge located at HealthRally which allows for people to help me donate $50 to the Blanca's Friends Charity if I meet my initial goal of 14 runs in 4 weeks. Some additional motivation for a good cause. I encourage you to check it out!

I will post more in the coming weeks about my initial run challenge and more about the other great things that have been happening in our lives in the near future.

God Bless-

Eat It!

Who would have ever thought that "Weird Al" Yankovic would ever play a part in my blog?

Most of you already know that this family loves "Man Vs. Food" on the Travel Channel. We DVR the show and watch every week, and even watch reruns then they run them as well. Gabriel often plays "Man Vs. Food" most evenings when we are eating dinner. Over the past several months, I have been able to converse with him through Twitter (he follows ME now!) and Gabriel thinks its awesome that I have a direct line to him. We have even had the opportunity to meet him at a book signing and we talked as if we had been friends for years. He's such a humble and gracious person and is a great role model for Gabriel as a human being.

We also watch several shows on Food Network: "Iron Chef America," "Throwdown with Bobby Flay," and "Chopped" to name a few. Gabe loves watching the chefs compete using the same ingredients, yet coming up with different results. His favorite parts are the epic failures of some contestants and when the judges talk about what they like, dislike and why. He also likes trying to figure out who is going to win the shows.

Tonight's dinner morphed from a nice meal into a fantastic event. As we were eating dinner, Gabriel began to create his own version of "Chopped," mimicking every nuance of Ted Allen's hosting style, judges comments about our meal, screen graphics and sound effects in and out of commercial breaks, and even provided a few commercials for us. It was incredible. The kid is really good at it. He made Jen and I laugh to the point of hysteria while eating dinner.

Our dinner entertainment quickly turned into dessert talk and we decided to have a dessert-only version of "Iron Chef America." Gabriel, of course, was "The Chairman" and also played the role of Alton Brown, the moderator as our small kitchen turned into our own cramped "Kitchen Stadium." He was unbelievable from the start: from the reveal of our secret ingredient (marshmallows), to starting the battle declaring, "I say to you- in the words of my uncle, Allez Cuisine!" As Jen and I prepared our desserts, Gabriel became Alton Brown, filming parts on his new Spycam watch, and moderating the actions of the "Chefs."

I (dubbed "Bobby Flay" by Gabriel) made Marshmallows Three Ways:

1. Chocolate-Covered Marshmallows and Banana, skewered on a toothpick, rolled in crumbled graham cracker crumbs
2. Marshmallow Orange Dreamcicle- marshmallows skewered on a toothpick, with frozen Cool Whip, dipped in orange juice
3. Marsmallow and Banana on a graham cracker with caramel drizzle

Jennifer (dubbed "Cat Cora" by Gabriel) made a Marshmallow/Banana Pudding:

-Vanilla pudding with sliced bananas on a bed of graham cracker crumbs with marshmallows and a chocolate sauce topping

After the desserts were eaten, the nod went to Jen "Cat Cora" Rogerson, by the slimmest of margins.

It was a big night in the Rogerson house tonight.

As I Lay Me Down To Sleep

A perfect song provided by Sophie B. Hawkins...

It has been a long 5 months since last posting a blog and I am embarrassed that time has escaped my grasp. There is so much to tell about the transformation of the Rogerson family (Tennessee Chapter), but not enough time to thoroughly put it into words. I have made a decision to write more often, however briefly it may be. On to today's topic...

Gabriel is of the Rogerson mold- he loves music. He received an iPod from us on his 4th birthday and has loved listening to the Beatles as I drive him home on Tuesday and Thursday nights since he was in a infant carseat. About 3 years ago, he decided that he wanted to listen to music as he went to bed. With the breadth of my musical catalog, I created several playlists entitled, "Sleep Time 1-6" for variety. Each having about 8 songs, he enjoys them as he drifts into his dream world. A night does not go by when he doesn't hear a song from Mat Kearney and Jason Mraz.

As for Jacob, he is starting his own bedtime traditions. Initially, he would only want to go to sleep in his crib- he did not want someone to rock him to sleep. Because I only got a couple of hours with him before he went to bed, I began to rock him in his chair a few minutes and sing my favorite songs as lullabies. I wanted to be sure he had a solid foundation of music, so I began to sing a litany of Beatles songs as I rocked him to sleep. At first, his "playlist" only consisted of "Blackbird." After a few days, I added an additional song such as "Across The Universe," "Let It Be," and "The Long And Winding Road." After a couple of weeks, it became apparent that this was no longer a phase. Jennifer had attempted to lay him in bed like we always had before and he would start whining after 5 minutes in bed. I would pick him up and sing a couple of songs and he would sleep all night.

Jake tells me the songs he likes by resting quietly without tossing and turning. We have added "Octopus' Garden," "Yesterday," and "Good Night" into our Beatle repertoire. With his approval, I have added other artists such as Sting, Peter Gabriel, and Brett Dennen, but we always end on a Beatles tune as I lay him in his crib. I am not sure who enjoys this ritual more: him or me, but its the bond we share together at the end of his day. It seems to be a necessity for him, and a pleasure for me.