Dead End Job

Thanks to the Police for the title of this post...

A couple of weeks ago (as written in a previous blog) I had undergone gallbladder surgery. On my post-op visit, the doctor advised that I take another week off from work to fully recover from the surgery- which I was happy about. I had started feeling better, but was really in no shape to return to work. As the second week was winding down, my anxiety started...

I have been with Verizon Wireless for over 8 years. I have had virtually the same job for about 7 years, with about a year of other duties sprinkled in along that time. Initially, I fell for the grandeur of "opportunities to be promoted from within" lines as if they were true statements- why would the company lie about such things? However, this has not been the case as time progressed. I have applied for over 50 positions within the company and have succeeded in attaining 4 of them. Not a successful ratio. I have even been offered a job by a manager, accepted the position, only to be told that I would NOT be getting the position a week later! The stories about my struggles for progression would amaze you. I thought that I finally caught a break 7 months ago when I received an interim position with an auditing team. Unfortunately, 7 months came and went as a permanent position was not being filled at this time. Therefore, I was returning back to my previous job. That is, before the gall bladder surgery.

I have never been off two full weeks at once in the 8 years I had been at Verizon Wireless. Sure, I have had 9 or 10 days off before including weekends, but never as many as the 17 days off I had this past month. One would think that after that much time off, one would be rejuvenated and feel refreshed and be back at work without any dread. One would be wrong.  Yesterday, I entered my building, sat along side my co-workers and walked out with the same feeling of dread I had nearly 8 months prior when I was performing my old job description.

The best way I can explain it to people is that it's like going to school every morning only to see that bully at the door waiting for you. You know he is there for one thing: to punch you in the stomach and take your lunch money and push you down to the ground. No matter how much you try to put up a fight, the results are the same: a deflated ego, a bruise in your ribs and that queasy feeling that even though you made it to Friday, Monday is right around the corner and it starts all over again.

I don't really know where I am going with this post, but I am sure there are others out there that will read this and can empathize with exactly the same feelings that I feel about my job. Longing for a fulfilling career is something that many of us deal with, so I am not asking for pity. All I know is that I cannot, nor will not go on like this. Something has to change. I am going to be looking for that something. And when I find it, I am going to hold onto it like I am gasping for air. Either within or (more than likely) without Verizon Wireless.